Ode to Morning

Ode to Morning

to know her
this hour
my breath awakens

i’d forgotten how
how the sun kisses the sky.

as dew prays onto the grass
butterflies invade the pasture
below the soil.

prancing through the tender light
the aura of her field captures my existence.

inhaling this moment
i remember how morn craves its oasis-
surrendering to the day.

falling slowly
then all together.

Tina Fey

Tina Fey.

I wish that’s all I could say, and get away with writing the best entry. She has a beautiful soul inside and out. Radiates joy. And is personable. Although, I have never met her, I am just guessing.  I am a little late, but I just finished reading her memoir “Bossy Pants”…(Btw, stop, and go read it now)…. Its fabulous, never a dull moment. I think we’re secretly long lost soul sisters.

 Why the rant about Tina? She has inspired me to tell my crazy story. I am in the process of writing a book. If you know anything about me, it might be a 600 page novel, I have quiet an unique story. Nah. I wouldn’t do that to you guys. lets make it 599 pages.

….I know many of us have a story to tell. We want others to know whats make us, us.  I love the whole idea. I just didn’t think my story was worth telling. But, if you have people your whole life telling you to, I guess its a must? I hope to convey my journey through series of stories that have made me the young woman I am today. 

Some chapter names will contain:

1. Roman Noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

2. The Nun that raised me

3. Unsanitary? Oh you mean the orphanage I was raised in Romania?

4. Million Dollar Smile 

5. You got a f-ing tattoo? Go wash it off 

6. I am going to hang your toes on the clothes line

7. If the peacock is the predator, then I am the victim.

8. Was that an interview?

9. I abuse Alcohol

10.You just said the “F” word  

….Wish me luck…might take months, years…something like that.

Tattoo

rejoice-

: to feel joy or great delight

 

 

 

use what you have

Use what you have,

….always. I want to remember that no one is going to make my dream come true for me….it is my job to get up everyday (with that I have) and work toward the things that are the deepest in my heart…and to enjoy every step of the journey rather than wishing I was already where I want to end up.

 

Special birthday intentions for Martin! Hope today is all what you expect it to be (:

pieces of you

leave a little of “you” behind everywhere you go. You never know how much of an impact you can make.

inspiring words

People used to say…

People used to say:

“Oh honey, you and your sister may not get along now…but you two will be best friends when you get older”

Of course, when people (I mean several people) told me that, I thought they were nuts. Calina and I both thought it was funny to hear other people say that. We both knew that we argued more than most siblings, well that’s what our parents always reminded us…but we didn’t ever think WE were going to actually get along when we got older.

Something I have realized:

Everyone was right. They were right about everything. How did they know?

Things that make you go Hmm…

Sometimes we come across a person who alter our whole perspective on life. That lucky person is my very own sister. Calina  has always encouraged me through the difficult times and taught me important lessons along the way. She showed me that in the tough times giving up is not an option, that I have to keep going no matter what happens. She helped me realize that while you may not always be able to get what you want you can make the best out of what you have. She was always there to show me that things weren’t as bad as It was making them out to be. When things didn’t go my way when I wanted them to she told me to be patient and they would come – and they always did. She is there for me- even to make me laugh.

(Side not: I know I typed all that in past tense, but wanted to let you know that she still is very encouraging and all of the other things listed above.)

If you don’t know her, get to know her. She is one of a kind. She knows just exactly how to make you laugh, and how to lift you up when you feel crappy. She puts that little extra to the word extraordinary.

Happy Birthday month little sis! Love you!

"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there."

the unique gift

It has taken me a while to collect my thoughts together for this entry. When I say (a while) I mean having this saved as a draft for almost a year. The only thing that was written, was the title.

Okay, lets proceed, shall we?

About three years ago I received the most unique gift. It was given to me my one of the most kind no, I should say one of the most  sincere individuals I know. I could go on and on about her, but the most important thing you need to know is that she is so real. She is true to herself and just has one of the sweetest hearts.

Getting ahead of myself.

So, a couple of months before my 18th birthday my Mom asked what I wanted for my birthday. At that point I thought she was a little nuts to ask me, as  I thought I was too old. Little did I know, I was not. I told her I didn’t really want  anything or need anything. This was my response, “I know this might sound odd but I honestly feel that I have everything I could possibly ever want.” She looked at me like someone took over her daughter’s body and had some recording programed into. However, those were the words from my mouth. As I started to leave from the conversation, I had come up with (in my opinion) the best idea! I turned around and shouted,
“Wait Mom, if there is some way we can get all of our friends and family together and just have a nice gathering- then I am for it!” She turned to me and asked, “Is that what you want for your birthday?” I had the biggest smile on my face and exclaimed, “YES!”

Side note: You must know that I didn’t think my Mom was actually going to pull through with this idea.

To my surprise, she was planning and organizing since the day she asked what I wanted for my birthday.

The party was a success.

Another side note: “Gifts are not necessary” was written on the invitations….

As I was opening all the gifts, I came a cross this one…

Gift from Fiorella Silar

It’s not one of those “Oh let me hurry up and hand this gift to you” or a “Oh let me exclaim to the whole world what I got you” kind of gift…It was nothing like the above descriptions. The room was crowded with much chitter chatter, but somehow when I was opening the gift, all I could hear was the unwrapping of the gift. She then leaned over to me and explained the gift. She told me that all the charms were the ingredients to Mirela.

(Call me a dork, but I wrote down what she said, so that I could keep the words forever in my heart)

Ingredients to Mirela:

a) The big Heart- “Mirela you have such a big heart and there is so much peace and gentleness inside. It’s big because I want you to share it with others.”

b) The girl- “This is you. When you find yourself down and out, know that now matter how big or small you are, you’re someone. You count.”

c) The boy- “I know that you don’t have a boyfriend at the moment, but I hope that when you meet the right person, that he treats you like a lady and that he loves you for you.”

d) Leaf- “(Literally) You love nature and it loves you back! (Figuratively) Mirela, you are so alive and energetic. Never loose that gift!”

e) Chain- “I know that at times you feel restricted, but I want you to learn to free yourself and to let go.”

f) Little Heart- This is meant for the child you bring into this world (many years from now, of course). You are going to be a wonderful mother because you will teach your little one how to love, just like you do.

g) Small Peace Sign- “You create a peaceful atmosphere, and its enjoyable to be around you.”

I could not find any words, so I just smiled.

Thank you again, Fiorella.

Make it a Habit to…

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Embrace the Journey

I had the weirdest conversation (with myself) on my way to school yesterday. Yes, I said the words: with myself. I was just cruising along and then all of a sudden  my thoughts started to race through my mind. I couldn’t ignore them. They were invading my brain. Every time I tried to “change the subject” it would just come back like a reoccurring dream. I had to listen. There was no way out. I eventually screamed out loud “WHAT!?” Not the kind of “what” where you are asking a particular question…but the kind where you are shouting in frustration. I was then able to bring my shoulders down and relax (for the most part).

I was already weirded out that I had just talked out loud- but then I noticed I had said something else. I shouted, “I’m terrified. I’m terrified of all of it. Of the entire picture. Of the journey ahead no matter how long or short, dark or light.”

(10 minutes later….)

I was then able to tell myself….”But it’s OKAY.”

It’s okay because whatever is weighing me down, can only become lighter.

I tend to  put my trust into my surroundings to hold me up. I put trust in myself, and think that that is sufficient…but it’s not- so I eventually learn to trust in those around me.

…it’s scary, but it feels right.

I’m putting trust into the  journey ahead. I will do my best to embrace this journey with help.

Side note: Ironically, a friend of mine just recently gave me a bracelet that had “Embrace the Journey” engraved on it. Just too perfect. Every time I wear it, I think of her and her journey. Her story gives me Hope. It gives me Courage. Most importantly, it enables me to trust in my journey ahead.

Embrace your journey.

Pslam 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Romans 8:9

You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.

Romans 8:5

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

Psalm 128:1-2

Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways!

Pslam 18 1-6

¹I love you, LORD, my strength.

² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

³ I called to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and I have been saved from my enemies.
⁴ The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
⁵ The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.

⁶ In my distress I called to the LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.